zandertoyI just found out that my dad passed away today.
He actually tried to call me yesterday at 4:02pm.
If I had the chance to speak with him again I would say:
“Dad, even though you were never there for me , I love you”.
I’m sorry for:
not being there for you
not sending fathers day cards
Not sharing my life with you
Not calling you back
The truth is that I’m an awful son.
I wish that you were the father I always wanted. Someone to protect me and support me growing up. Someone to be there on holidays and birthdays. I wish I could have told you face to face that I was gay. I wish that I could have told you and that you said you loved me no matter what.
Looking back one of the only times I can remember you there for a big moment was at my college graduation. You and Aunt Amy were there. Allison came to celebrate dinner with us.
From your Shis:
I heard someone say once that we choose who our parents are. Dad was meant to be our father and he was the type of father that we needed. We can’t blame him for not being there, he had a rough childhood and didn’t have a father himself. Without him we wouldn’t have Grandma and Grandpa, UA and AC, Wei and Aus. You wouldn’t have your condo… there’s so much. He has impacted our lives more than you realize. He was around in a way everyday.
Also, you were a good son to him. You sent him money when he asked, got him a cell phone. The best thing you did for him is that you made sure you were successful, he never had to worry about.
I love you Brother, don’t feel guilty bc there’s nothing to be guilty about. We’ll get through this together.